covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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