You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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