Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
