The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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