yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
