my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
