i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
