dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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