I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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