why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
