i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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