can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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