So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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