Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
