using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
