i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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