Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
