i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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