the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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