I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
