It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Please don't give away my fajitas
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize