I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
