READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
