I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
