i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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