that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
