We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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