I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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