Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
