i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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