I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
