You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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