do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
