Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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