these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
