Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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