yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
