I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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