New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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