i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
