my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
