As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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