when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
