My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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