I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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