Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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