Plan B is the new Plan A
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize