A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
