I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
