its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
