a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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