there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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