I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
