I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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